Rough Stone Rolling

It’s not talked about much, but I think it’s safe to say we assume we look much like we did in the pre-existence– except we looked more like action figures back then, and aspire to go back to looking like that when we cross the veil again.

Besides the expected glorified bodies of flesh & bone, I wonder how else we’ll anatomically change in the next life. I mean, there are certain things we just won’t need any more. Take eye lids. As glorified beings we’ll no longer need to systematically quench the eyes with moisture, so there’ll be no need to blink (on the other hand the inability to blink was a by-product of hell in Sartre’s No Exit). The posterior will no longer have any use—every celestial account has the subjects standing. It’s not like we’re going to need to take a load off. The belly button should be going the way of the dodo, too. And the Adam’s apple—do we go back to calling it the Michael’s apple? Or do we get more specific and call it the Michael’s Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil? If there’s no more need for blood, it stands to reason that there’ll be no more need for saliva, sweat or mucous. As temporal discomforts become things of the past, idle pleasures such as boogers, belches and flatulence will be left to archival footage. That said, what would constitute as waves of relief when all is already perfect? It suddenly doesn’t sound that much fun anymore, does it?

Come to think of it, are we even going to have clothes? Adam and Eve were buck naked until they fell. Maybe celestial beings only grab togas for their appearances on earth so we won’t get distracted while they’re delivering their messages. And since both message-bearers and receivers are always both male, the perfection would only make us feel inadequate.

So, good call.

I guess the only real downer about how cool we’re going to look in the next life is, when we get there, that sort of stuff won’t impress us anymore. Whatever. I’m still putting in for a cleft chin.