Rough Stone Rolling

I like slumming in the “Today in the Bloggernacle” section of MormonTimes.com every morning. Its host, Emily W. Jensen, does a pretty bang-up job of digging up compelling blog entries and I like sharing in her latest discoveries (she’s cited THREE of my articles so far, so I can’t help being a fan).

Imagine my surprise when I clicked on a link today entitled, “Now a glorious dawn is breaking”– purportedly about Mormon overtones in the “Twilight” vampire series– but instead came face-to-face with an ad for Mormon garments:

Mormon Garments
Bargain Prices. Smart Deals. Save on Mormon Garments!
Shopzilla.com

Well, this WAS a find! I’ve been yearning for the day when I could get my G’s online. My excitement flamed as I clicked on the link and watched the familiar Shopzilla gold n’ green screen percolating the results of my search.

It produced a list of links, mostly Mormon, but nothing to do with garments. But wait!– there was one for “Mormon Underwear” at bodybody.com!

Another click and– drat!– another list of links. Now the closest result was “Christian Underwear”. To which I asked myself, “Is Mormon underwear Christian underwear? And what does this have to do with vampires and their Mormon overtones?” I felt like the mysteries were unfolding before my eyes and I couldn’t stop.

As it turns out, “Christian underwear” refers to “Andrew Christian,” a line of very stylish– but inapproapriate– men’s cotton briefs (there IS a cool Obama low-cut trunk with the president-elect’s face on it you might want to consider for when you go to the gym or the doctor’s office).

So, I guess the answers I found this morning were: 1) Mormon underwear is NOT Christian underwear; 2) You still cannot purchase garments online; and 3) Finding Mormon trends in “Twilight” requires a discernment I do not possess.

Thank you, Emily W. Jensen! I love your column– AND my new Obama briefs!!

Based on Proposition 8’s passing, it’s obvious the sentiment here in California is to uphold the longstanding description of marriage. To try to obtain a favorable decision from the courts now would only further inflame the majority who voted to pass Prop. 8. That would only lead to a further backlash. The People don’t like to be told their voice has no power.

In all fairness to the “No on 8″ crowd, the time is not right to change the definition of marriage. Taking their lumps, biding their time and making their alleged case to the majority will do more to help their cause than the hostile outbursts, protests and boycotts. Enjoy the rights you’ve got and be patient for tomorrow.

Nov. 4 was a day another group of people could only dream of just 25 years ago. When Barack Obama was declared the winner and 44th president of the United States, it wasn’t the result of a lawsuit or pressure by attorneys. It was the culmination of a successful campaign, by an articulate candidate, to a country willing to accept him.

Blacks certainly waited a lot longer than one generation to see this happen, and have suffered a great deal more for their civil rights. That’s what truly makes this the greatest country ever conceived — that if you want something and are willing to work at it long enough, it could happen. Frankly, I’m outraged the gay community would even pretend to compare themselves with them.

I admit I voted for Prop. 8– and when this issue comes up for vote again, I’ll vote the same way– but I would have been just as vocal against any proponents of Prop. 8 trying to go to court to gain an advantage over the voice of the majority had it been defeated. If McCain won the presidential election, how would you have felt if the Obama camp went to court saying the majority vote didn’t count and we should be fair to the black candidate? I value the power of elections that much. You need to shake it off and work for the future. What you’re doing now is only losing supporters you already have.

It was a great disappointment yesterday when members kept shoe-horning Prop 8 into their testimonies and lessons. The greatest infringement was when the high priest group leader practically proselytized the issue during his testimony with examples of pro’s and anti’s he came across. The only time Jesus’ name was mentioned was in the closing.

The five signs mentioned in the title are not about any symptoms or doctrinal portents looming over the horizon. They refer to five Prop 8 signs in the trunk of my car. As members tried to crawl out the parking lot to go home yesterday and break their fasts, high priests manned the exits, handing out multiple Prop 8 signs to each car so they could stake them in various public places around town. It was the goal, I believe, to make sure that when people closed their eyes last night, they would see yellow and blue, and big “8s” floating around.

Tomorrow is election day, so I guess I have to get my signs out there. On the way home Friday I saw several of them clustered together on the I-5’s dirt meridian– someone actually pulled over into the middle of one of LA’s busiest freeways and posted those suckers. I wonder if they’ll still be there today.

I haven’t softened on my own commitment to support Prop 8, despite my disillusionment with some of the enthusiastic gestures. Au contraire, I recently came across a talk by Neil A. Maxwell– entitled, Meeting the Challenges of Today– which only strengthens my resolve and fortifies my initial reaction– follow the prophet.

I’ll just be glad when the election is over. I want my ward to be normal again.

P.S. - Steve Young advertising “No on 8″?? Oh, no, that’s his wife… Hey, who wears the mantle in the family, Steve-O??

Finally– it’s almost over.

I’ve got to tell you, I’m almost to the point of not caring who wins the presidency, just as long as those people all shut up. I’m beat… disappointed, disillusioned, disheartened. I hate that McCain tries to strike fear in our hearts with words like “socialism” and “terrorist,” and Obama chuckles about “senior moments” as if age made one less of a leader. I hate the rhetoric and the obscene amounts of money spent to smear, belittle and lie.

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I’m becoming increasingly aware that the LDS Church’s campaign for Proposition 8 is about much more than just trying to get the bill passed. The rift between members (see here)– the passion and commitment– tells me this is a complex exercise that also, in simplest terms, comes down to each individual’s relationship with God. It’s a test and opportunity for each of us to exert our faith and wrest with the issue through prayer and pondering.

That is not to say that everyone will or should come away with the same answer, and it isn’t whether the Church is right or wrong. It is, however, about whether each of us can individually attain a confirmation and sense of peace from the Lord that it’s all right to hold the sentiments we do.

That being said, we should recognize that whatever answer we each receive is valid to no one but ourselves– and we should afford the same courtesy to our brothers and sisters with different positions. Because when it all comes down to it, in the end it’s just us and the Lord– one on one. And the question won’t be how we voted, but how we strived to build a relationship with Him.

The other day we received an email from a friend who goes to another ward in our stake. Angry over the California Teachers Association’s million dollar donation to “No on 8,” she was trying to help facilitate a protest:

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It’s interesting to see the contrast of my beloved old ward and my new ward while in the middle of the great Proposition 8 crusade.

My old ward resides four miles from Hollywood. It’s populated by men and women who work in all areas of the entertainment industry. It’s known to be a “maverick” ward, an eclectic ward, full of young couples just starting to spawn and new converts still donning their pre-born again tats.

The new ward is 30 miles from Hollywood. It’s wholly suburban, clean cut, white bread. The families are older, with teens and older primary kids. The men all have “suit” jobs and everyone sparkles.

The old ward has worked hard to drum up sufficient numbers to walk the neighborhoods and attend the meetings. It’s not that the membership is against Prop 8, it’s just that it’s such a right-wing campaign ill-fitted for these free-spirited “industry” types. Of course there are those who don’t agree, but certainly not strongly enough to rebel. It’s…inconvenient.

The new ward totally drank the Kool-Aid. The meeting attendance is SRO and on the way out members scramble for their signs and bumper stickers. Their expressions are impassioned while responding to the pleas of their leaders and they’re eager to get out the vote.

These two wards– old and new– are about 25 miles from each other.

And worlds apart.

“I think the responsibility that the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or, by me when I was president, to put some standards and tighten up a little on Fannie May and Freddie Mac”
-Bill Clinton

 I’m still in the process of moving and my computer’s not hooked up yet, but I felt strongly enough to post this from work (I’ll deduct the time from my lunch break).

VIEW THIS BEFORE THEY BAN IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RZVw3no2A4&feature=iv&annotation_id=event_5

For the past couple of months California Mormons have focused on trying to secure the passing of Proposition 8, the proposed constitutional amendment defining marriage as a “union between a man and a woman.” There’s been a lot of hooplah about it on the blogs (if not in the media). Yesterday I received this email from a couple in my ward. They’re very reasonable, intelligent people, so for this reason I took the plug pretty seriously:

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Our family is in the process of moving, and while we’re as giddy as rugrats over creature comforts like a dishwasher and central air, we’re in a very weird place right now. [Read more →]

Recently a freshman at the University of New Mexico named John Bundy was denied membership in the Christian fraternity Kappa Upsilon Chi because he is LDS and, therefore, not Christian. They suggested he go start an LDS fraternity instead. The fraternity is taking cover behind its First Amendment rights and the issue is a sticky one: On the one hand, student organizations have the freedom to select their members. On the other, they are not allowed to discriminate. And so it goes…

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The Web has been ablaze with inquiries of John McCain’s VP pick, Alaska governor Sarah Palin, these past few days. Small wonder for not only was she virtually unknown, she seized instant status as a national pin-up girl. I predict she’ll be an easy choice for LDS voters because of her values, despite all the liberal hooplah about her daughter (instead of hearing about the securing of Anbar– equivalent to the taking of Berlin in WWII– and transfer of power to the Iraqi government, we get pelted ad nauseum with Nancy Grace-like journalism on Bristol Palin and how it’ll affect McCain’s campaign. CNN caters to the lowest common denominator, doesn’t it?) . She’s pro-life, pro-family, anti-SSM, pro-gun, pro-God. In fact, one of the more popular search inquiries about this political eye candy has been “Is Sarah Palin Mormon”? A fair question. She’s from Idaho, she’s from a big family and she’s very right wing. Truth is, she’s not LDS; the Palin family belongs to the Assembly of God which, ironically, is oh-so-very anti-Mormon (and one of our ProtectMarriage.com bedfellows– even more irony!). Nevertheless, we will mostly vote for her. Because like so many other family-values folk, we like her, even though she’s not a stay-at-home mom. We like her spunk, her soccer mom freshness, her preference of honesty over party, her patriotism. And because she cleans up real nice (don’t you, you little minx…).

I like her, too. It’s not just the pig talking; I’ve gotten a lot more excited about the McCain campaign since she’s been named running mate. She a salve for most of the diverse Republican constituency and proven to be substantial.

There’s been concern about McCain’s age and the prospect of Sarah assuming the mantle of the presidency.  I’m not too worried about that. She’s a beauty queen. She’ll have the right answers for everything– and she’ll do it with poise.

**POSTSCRIPT 9/4**

To sum up my feelings about Sarah’s speech at the RNC last night, I’d like to quote Tom Shales of the Washington Post:

“If the Republicans win the presidential election in November, it may well be said that they won it last night– the night that John McCain’s brilliantly screwy choice for a running mate changed from laughingstock to national star.”

**This entry was submitted to the blog Nine Moons:

When I was attending the University of Utah one of my then favorite movies, The Big Chill, was released. Starring a very young William Hurt, Kevin Kline, Glenn Close and Jeff Goldblum, it was about a group of friends who come together when one of their own commits suicide. One of the more powerful moments for me was when the minister gave the eulogy. In conclusion he said:

“It makes me angry, and I don’t know what to do with my anger! Are not the satisfactions of being a good man among our common men great enough to sustain us anymore? Where did Alex’s hope go? Maybe this is the small resolution we can take from here today. To try to regain that hope that must have eluded Alex.”

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Having grown up loving horror novels and movies, “true” ghost stories and everything else that goes bump in the night, I decided the co-existence of vampires and Mormons would be a fun proposition. At the same time, I mused that the priesthood kind of spoils every supernatural threat. If a bishopric faced Linda Blair instead of a couple of Catholic priests, The Exorcist would have been 10 minutes long– mostly taken up by the brethren suiting up, being reminded to bring home a gallon of 2%, and carpooling over to the house. So it was with great anticipation that I picked up “Angel Falling Softly,” by Eugene Woodbury. [Read more →]

The other evening my daughter and I watched ”Hitch” again, a family favorite. At one point, while giving advice to a client, the lead character (played by Will Smith) said, “Begin each day as if it were on purpose.” That line really stood out for me. It reminded me of President Monson’s most recent address, “May We So Live” where he said:

“Our opportunities to give of ourselves are indeed limitless, but they are also perishable. There are hearts to gladden. There are kind words to say. There are gifts to be given. There are deeds to be done. There are souls to be saved… Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day.”

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What’s wrong with these kids today?

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I had a wonderfully colorful Uncle Jonathan that lived in Queens, NY who liked his cigars, scotch, Nick Carter paperbacks and Esquires. He wore a number of hats over the course of his life (each career capturing his attention momentarily) which followed a non-linear pattern, like an intercontinental ballistic missle that lost its fin. One vocation that stuck out is when he became a non-denominational Christian minister– and when I say “non-denominational,” I mean that in the purest sense of the word. Jonathan answered a mail-order ad: Send $20 and you will receive a certificate of ordination from the Holy Ministry of Something-or-Other. Then armed with his license, he started a “church” that came in the form of a small column in the Religion section of one of the local papers, and put an ad in a small national magazine promising peace or some such nonsense. He also ran a direct mail campaign to drum up devotees. I don’t remember him ever getting rich– he remained in the same small apartment the entire time– but he kept up the calling for a few years until the well ran dry.

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I think I’ve mentioned my wife, L., is a designer for an LA architectural firm and has, over the years, built a solid reputation for herself. Recently she took me on a tour of one of her company’s most recent projects– the LAPD’s Rampart Station. This command center watches over the city through several giant TV screens in the Rampart watch commander’s office. It’s a thing of beauty, really; part medieval, part modern, part Spartan. Ballistic-resistant glass block and state-of-the-art Nautilus systems.When we were taken past the gray cinderblocked, windowless rooms with tables and chairs bolted to the floor, I piped up, “Oh, these must be the interrogation rooms.” The tour guide– a cop, himself– threw me a hardcore glare and replied, “We call them ‘interview areas.’ Hey, no argument from me, but I was curious what their term was for the pieces of hard rubber hose they brought with them when they conducted their interviews. ‘Encouragement devices?’

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The jury’s still out for me about Adam. Was he really the stronger of the two to so quickly and adamantly (get it? adamantly… what a card) refuse Lucifer’s offer, or was he just being the typical obtuse guy, like the ones who don’t need the instruction manual? ‘Cause there was just a flicker of a moment where I perceived Eve as being the more insightful spouse. As she would with Fuller Brush salesmen in generations to come, she looked past the fancy pitch, saw the kernel of truth and grabbed it. Adam was like, “But He said it is forbidden,” and Eve was like, “But He also said choose for thyself,” and it was like, “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.” And, okay, it was forbidden fruit, but the important thing is they took it, and then they made lemonade.

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At my age I don’t concern myself much with being or appearing cool anymore, especially since I never really was. Even in college when everyone was sporting Flock of Seagulls hair and wearing two layers of Izod shirts– one collar up, one down– I was the guy with the short, parted Hitler Youth do and comfy, utilitarian overalls. White & Nerdy? Damn right. It was usually my un-PC humor that kept me on the fringes of the circle.

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